As I lied on my bed today, some random thoughts started disturbing me. Now, we all have friends, best friends, friends of opposite sex, best friends of opposite sex. We all are in love as well (as some point or the other). Also, you all must have heard people saying, “he is my best friend and he is the one I am in love with”. (Here, both the ‘he’ are different). So, my question is “What is the difference between friendship and love ?”. Or, to be very clear, “Is physical intimacy, passion, sex the only difference ?” Or, many a times you must have met people saying, “we were friends for so many years, then we fell in love”. So, my question here is “What is the exact moment when one transforms into another ?”.
People mostly consider love and friendship as two separate entities but is it really so ? As per the famous “Triangular theory of love”, the three components of love, are an intimacy component, a passion component, and a decision/commitment component."
- Commitment – Which encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with another, and in the long term, plans made with that other.
So, the intimacy and commitment is there in friendship as well, so the only difference left is ‘passion’ which in turn proves that ‘sexual attraction’ is the only difference to which most of the ‘so called lovers’ would disagree with.
Now, at this very moment either you are confused or agree to above points or you are are ready with counter points to the argument. I will patiently listen to your all points but let me put forth my opinions (as being a very opinionated person I tend to have a lot of them).
I dont think you can draw an exact line between the two or you can tell clearly that love is the superset of friendship or vise versa. Its like answering to the question when is the exact moment evening turns into night or When a child turns to an adult (not physically but emotionally or mentally). “Love” in plain and simple terms means “extreme form of friendship”. You hear people saying, "I like my friends, but I love my wife or girlfriend” or “I love my friends, but I am in love with my wife”. So, what is the difference between loving and being in love? Is ‘sex’ the only difference? Or is Romance the differentiating factor ? What is romance, anyway? This may feel profound, but it is mostly word games that I can play all night long.
So, to end this never ending conversation, try to find someone who is your best friend and the one who you are in love with. If these two are the same person, you are really lucky. If these two are different, analyze the difference in the feelings when you are with them. And, you have this question answered.
